The same rider for our post on what I must see in Switzerland, as apparently Gordon doesn’t always see things clearly at this point.

1. I do not care if it was mostly filmed somewhere else and that the movie isn’t totally accurate, but I am going to sing my little heart out on a Sound of Music Tour. Worth noting is that I cannot sing, but I do have some old curtains that I just might pack.
2. We must do the Viennese waltz, preferably to Strauss. Now this should be easily achieved as we took dance classes for quite a few months. Only trouble was that I got expelled for getting to close to Gordon’s leg in the tango class. Something was definitely lost in translation here.
3. Have to go to the Kaffeehaus, in Vienna. It is one of the most famous and traditional cafés in Vienna. Sigmund Freud was frequently seen having his coffee here.
4. I will practice psycho analysis on Gordon purely for fun and to play with his head
5.  I will take him to some churches and monasteries so he can see whether they will keep me .. Permanently. As I went to a Catholic school for the first 6 years, I’d say they would be thinking, how to do we solve a problem like Paula
6. I will be ripped off buying Mozartkugel or Mozart balls in Salzburg, because they are iconic and lollies are quite nice
7.  We will be staying in Kitzbuhel and skiing a little. We will do as the Austrians do and linger over breakfast, lunch and dinner and the in between coffee breaks
8.  I will go and visit the Arnie Swcharnegger Museum because it is at Thal bei Graz which pretty much is in the middle of nowhere. It is not that I am a fan so I could compromise on this one. I here that the Austrians aren’t big fans either.
9.  I will eat Weiner Schnitzel.
10. Sachertorte is a chocolate cake with apricot jam filling, traditionally eaten with whipped cream. I will be absolutely sampling this.
11. As Austria is credited with bringing coffee to Europe we will inevitably try many and see if the hype is warranted.
12. I could swing through some vines if there were any, to remember  Johnny Weissmuller who played Tarzan and hailed from Austria. However I will go for a swim in an indoor pool as he was an Olympic swimmer and I think that counts.
13.  I will swim nude because this is what the Austrians do.
14. I will be bemused that people do not think we are ‘from’ Austria for a change
15. Because there are a lot of cows and goats and I am not lactose intolerant, I am prepared to eat a lot of dairy
16. I will wear a dirndl but not an awful buy cialis 5mg canada one. Instead I will opt for one that pushes your breast up to your chin
17. I will watch skiing races instead of other sports, which if it is not the winter Olympics or a hockey (not ice) won’t be a problem since I rarely watch sport.
18. Now one thing I will not do is idolize David Hasselhoff as apparently the Austrians do. They love the ‘Hoff”, I don’t. It was like in Sri Lanka, as soon as we said “Warnie” (Shane Warne, brilliant cricketer, serial womaniser) we were treated so well. Because we said we knew him (not true) we were treated like royalty.
19. I will encourage Gordon to be sociable and to drink the beer that the Austrians are so proud of
20. I will then tell him that when he needs to go to the toilet he must pee sitting down, as that is the Austrian way
21. I will also undoubtedly use a toilet, which apparently has a display shelf inside the bowl. Interesting.
22. I will let Gordon buy a Captain von Trapp hat but he cannot wear it in public unless he has had too much beer
23. I will not go into a MacDonald’s even here in Australia but I would be intrigued to see them serving beer to 16 year olds to help wash down their big macs.
24. Kissing is now banned on the trains and buses in Vienna, but an Austrian man may kiss a foreign woman’s hand (that’s me) but Gordon cannot kiss the hand of an Austrian woman.
25. I will go and see Gustav Klimt’s The Kiss and see if I can figure it out.
26. Shaking hands and eye contact is what it is all about, so I can do this.
27. I won’t mix Austrians up with Germans or any other nationality since Austria is the epi-centre of the universe.
28. I will go and see a few museums like the Leopold and the Mozarthauss and feel culturally enriched
29. I will glance at a few of the hundreds of castles in Austria.
30. I, and this probably means we, want to happen upon a village fair or celebration
31. I want to watch an open air opera, even if it is snowing bucket loads.
32. People always wait at a crosswalk for the green man even if no cars are coming. Gordon will be happy, he is so good
33. I might rent a dog as it is the fashion to have one, and have it peeking out of my handbag
34. I would love to hear the Vienna Boys choir sing their little contralto voices out loud and pure and clear. I know that they are not contralto but …

Want to help me out by offering me more suggestions?

[easyazon_link asin=”1612385451″ locale=”US” new_window=”default” nofollow=”default” tag=”wwwcontentravel-20″]Rick Steves’ Vienna, Salzburg & Tirol[/easyazon_link]